15 weeks

and 1 day


Hallo (pronounced - Ha-Low in Germany)

I don't have internet access where I am staying in Germany so I'm gonna make this quick.

On Friday August 21, I took the worst flight of my life to Germany. We had middle seats. Both me and my hombre. He suffered as he has long legs and I suffered as I am pregnant and have aching bones and bladder issues. The doctor told me to make sure I walked up and down the aisles frequently, to avoid blood clots. I didn't. I walked a little, but truly, I had two people on both sides of me. It was pretty tough getting up and down on a ten hour flight. I couldn't sleep. I was too cramped to write. And at least my hombre could drink away his pain. I just had to sit with it and enjoy a glass of water. I watched the new "Star Trek" movie, over and over on a horribly shaky screen. I think I have developed a bit of a nervous condition because of it. The plane ride was Hell, with a capital H. And the food was Hell, with a capital H. And I had the nerve to ask the woman sitting next to me if I could have her sandwich. Junior needed protein and those portions weren't cutting it. So I ate two gross turkey, cheese and butter sandwiches, to ward off the nausea. Good thing I brought a bunch of snacks with me, but still at the end of the day, I require big, hot meals.

And after a ten hour flight to Frankfurt, we then had to take two trains to get to Baden Baden, adding another hour and a half to the trip. I slept on the train, missing all the scenery.


But I am here, Baden Baden, and the royal treatment and amazing food is making up for the plane ride. Unfortunately I can't adjust to the time difference just yet, so my brain and body are fried. I'm getting bigger by the minute. I'm definitely showing.
I'm hanging in here and everyone I have met is very kind and very generous and understanding of my semi-miserable condition and feeding me beyond well. Homemade marmalade, homemade cakes, cucumber salad, jaeger steak (pork cutlet with mushroom gravy), schnitzel and lots of fresh meat, cheese and bread. It's doing a number on my system, but it's delicious. So I continue to stuff myself. My boyfriend's, best friend's mother is going to show me how to make the cucumber salad, because it is AMAZING. I can eat it all day long, for breakfast lunch and dinner.

The air is wonderful, the weather is holding up. I have no complaints, except my own tired and"backed up" condition. Hopefully it will get better. I'm certain it will if I stop stuffing more food in me. :-)

Anyways, I'm on borrowed internet time here so I must jump. I like being without internet sometimes. It's the only way I can accomplish other things on my computer as in, finishing my screenplay and organizing my photos. The internet should be called," internetine" because it is addictive much like...caffeine and nicotine and the likes.


Tschüss (Goodbye)

14 weeks

and 1 day....

Reality is setting in. The reality that I may wind up as big as a house.

Mostly in the thigh and derriere region (my trouble spots) I had another check-up today. The doctor listened to the baby's heartbeat and told me of all the health issues they checked for but I didn't have. Great news. They weighed me and I gained six pounds. Six pounds!!! And the doctor had the nerve to tell me I was thin and they would fatten me up in no time. The horror. Now don't get me wrong I understand I must gain some weight, for the love of the child, but I've seen women who only have a belly as opposed to the ones who transform into..well you know. I was hoping for the cute basketball belly.

I'm going on "vacation" on friday and I'm officially showing, officially frumpy and officially out of most of my jeans. I say "vacation" because I have no business going anywhere, but my hombre planned this and is very excited so I'm gonna try to get my hormones in tact and somehow piece together some kind of wardrobe and head on out.

I don't have maternity clothes, I don't have transition clothes, I don't even know what that means. Sigh! I'll be in Europe and unable to drink..sigh! I'll be on a plane for many hours and forced to deal with "airplane bathrooms" sigh! But I'm going somewhere I've never been and it's been a long time since I've traveled out of the country so I'm trying desperately to shake this rut. Sigh! I'm taking my computer, hoping I'll be inspired to write something profound and interesting to check writing studios and producers. :-)

Latest craving

I am pleased to announce I am finally craving a vegetable. Collard Greens. Slow cooked with turkey bacon or sometimes bacon, bacon. So, so good to me. Thank God!! I desperately needed some veggies but really can't stand the sight of them. But thankfully, I've been consuming bowls and bowls of these dark leafy, folic acid and calcium filled veggies.

Feeling a bit more human. Was even able to work a few days. Truly grateful for the people with compassion who are throwing this broke mother to be, a bone. They aren't working me to death and are happy for me. Hory Glory!

My struggle will soon be eased a bit, by my joining households with the father of this child. This decision is a blog for another day. Because I somehow feel more at ease with becoming a mother than a wife. And the thought of sharing a home with another grown individual set in his ways is a bit horrifying to me. Not a dig on the wonderful man in my life because if he were any less than wonderful I would not even consider moving in with him. I'm not that kind of human. :-) Wish me luck.

A writer writes.....pregnant and all.

I've seen the school my child must go to. It's in Malibu. I've viewed the house the child should grow up in....it's eight million dollars. :-)

So, this writer must write, with nausea, body aches and the likes. And I shall.


I was working on two feature films before the baby ball dropped. Two completely opposite genres, one horror, one comedy. To be submitted to the same production company, so we shall see. My goal is to finish the horror script first. I've never written horror and have to say, horror is my least favorite genre because ALL horrors, good or bad, scar me for life. But I figure since I scare so easily, I should be able to write a half decent feature and may even surprise myself and write a whole decent feature. Horror films are usually cheaper to make and the return can be well....ie....The Blair Witch Project. I think it was about $500,000 to make (after a major film company got a hold of it) and it grossed $248,000,000 worldwide. Not to shabby for an improvised independent horror flick.

In my dreams my horror flick will cost more to make. And hopefully the production company will step out on faith and spend the necessary dough. I have sold one film (deferred payment...of course) and it is currently in post-production(editing and the likes). They (the producers and director) made some heart-wrenching changes and me, being not the most diplomatic human I know, had to boycott set. So I have yet to see any footage. I just had to let go and just feel grateful that unlike eighty percent of so-called "writers" in Hollywood, I have a screenplay that has been filmed. So I shall write more and more and hope to find a company with some dough as opposed the poor struggling production company that "bought" mine. But hey, it's made.... Blood, Sweat and Tears. Sometimes, most time, the most creativity comes from a struggle. Fingers crossed.


Let me also add...One show on the air, WHEN I get one show on the air (sooner than later I hope), an eight million dollar home in Malibu won't be so far out of reach. RIght now a box under a bridge is out of my range. But again...some of the best work comes from a struggle. I have embraced my struggle and am going to use it for gain.


Okay, off this thing and going to write something that may secure my child's financial stability. Well, on the level that his (or her) Mama would like to see.

13 Weeks today

And I also had my genetic testing ultrasound and bloodwork. The child actually responded to the technician when she pressed on my belly. He or she would turn as if annoyed. I love it. We tried to find out if it was a boy or a girl, but the little bugger wouldn't open its legs. The technician and the doctor took a random guess, they both said "girl". But they really can't tell yet, so I won't go out painting any rooms purple yet. :-)

Apparently I'm filled with numerous fibroids, but I was told they aren't disturbing the baby..yet. She said they aren't situated in any dangerous spots, but still, it's unsettling. They will watch and keep measure of their growth. I had no idea I had so many.

The good news...the doctor told me my baby was not medical interesting at all. Meaning, looks healthy and well. No genetic issues showing. He said, you never want a Medically interesting baby. I agree. What a difference 3 weeks makes. The baby has legs and I saw the brain. It's so trippy and amazing. I'm not even upset anymore about losing my dinner in the shower. Yes, gross, but real. Sorry, but I'm keeping it very real. It was a spaghetti explosion. The horror.

I wonder if the marijuana coming through the vents from my downstairs neighbor is bad for me. I might have to call the landlady on these noisy and rude losers.

I'm gonna get out of this apt. for a little while. I don't need the headache.

WELP...

I did NOT make it through the few days of work. I worked two days before I gave out. I am stubborn and determined and was on a mission, but my poor body couldn't take 14 hour work days of running around in 94degree weather. I got a nose bleed..twice. I had to sneak in 20 minute naps the second day. I just disappeared to my car and put the ac on. I cried like a baby after I got home on the first day. My body ached, my stomach was sore to the touch. It's evident I can no longer work as a production assistant. Not to mention, I'm showing a bit and a pregnant production assistant just looks pitiful.

So they had to replace me for Friday and next Monday. Man, I could've used the dough, but my body with this child in it needs rest and a sensible plan of financial action. Maybe I'll buy a hat and a tambourine and sing on Venice Beach. "This little light of mine" I bet would bring the house down. :-)


It's not the dire.....yet.

The next day, I slept ALL day long. Besides working 14 ridiculous hours, 2 days in a row, I'm anemic and already tired, so I'm letting myself off the hook. And I apologize to my little one for being a fool.

12 WEEKS!

Officially 12 weeks, that's 3 months pregnant. Only six more to go. ha, ha, ha. I think I feel a little better. The metal taste is letting up a bit. Bones are still aching, but I think it's because I need some calcium. So I'm taking a little extra. I agreed to work a few days so I'm happy I feel a bit more human. And I hope I can make it because the dough would be nice.

I slid on a pair of jeans for the first time in a few weeks and though I could button them, I couldn't keep them buttoned. The belly protrudes a bit and this time it's not just undigested food. :-) I think I honestly still feel like crap, but it's a major step up from the previous "misery" weeks.

I went to one of my favorite spots here in Los Angeles, Joan's on Third, to get one of those yummy breakfast sandwiches to go.
I was wearing a purple shirt with the words "Start wearing Purple". As I stood waiting for my to-go order, Joan, the very lovely and kind owner walked up to me and pulled my shirt down, to read the print. She laughed and told me she loved the shirt.
When I got back in the car I noticed I had unbuttoned my jeans and forgot to button them when I was in the restaurant. I couldn't help but think she maybe was looking out for my well being by pulling the shirt down. :-) But hopefully the shirt was already covering. Time to purchase more dresses. I can't imagine wearing jeans with elastic around the waist. Not ready for that one.

Gone stretchin'.