Here I am two years later....posting. I once again was preggers and shocked, but too sick and busy with my toddler to write anything down. I now have a three and half year old girl, and a four month old boy. Best shocks of my life. I'm exhausted, and elated. They tag team me...she works me over all day, he takes the night shift. And I don't mind. I cherish each exhausting day, moment.
I lose my patience sometimes, I cry, I laugh. It's a wonderful ride I never want to get off of.
That's all I have for now. The clicking of the keyboard is stirring the natives. :)
My little one is "running" everywhere. She does not walk, she runs. She is a joy, a blast, a hoot and sometimes a royal pain and I welcome it all. She called me Mama a few days ago, for the first time. We are visiting family and I left her playing in the backyard with her cousins and took a drive to the store, when I came back, she was happy to see me (and thirsty for milk) so she reached her arms up and said.."mama". Oh, the sweetness. Short lived because as soon as she got her fill of milk she was back playing with our cousins.
I am still breastfeeding, no end in sight. I try to give her cups and bottles with milk but she's not interested. I am the human pacifier. I'm certain when she is weaned I will miss her big eyes looking up at me while she drinks, so I'm not pressed. Other people might be thinking and have said "what, she's still breastfeeding?" but she's 15 months old, not four. sheesh.
Anyways, we had our first "toddler" flight across country. It wasn't too bad. SHe slept four two hours. There were moments, but overall she was really good for being confined that amount of time. SHe is the most active 15 month old I know and I know a few. I really do.
So I'm really no longer preggers and shocked I"m now a mother and settling in to this joyous role. She is sleeping right next to me as I type this and I'm fighting the urge to give her a kiss, because if she's not in a deep sleep it might waker her. :-)
I was re-reading some of my posts and I came across the one where I mentioned how we were hoping for a boy. Let me clear this up right now, I am beyond happy and pleased I have a little girl. She is dreamy and as I thought I couldn't imagine what I'd do with a girl, I now couldn't imagine having a boy. My darling daughter's middle name is "Pearl" same as my Great-Grandmother who raised me and who I love and miss dearly. Beyond happy to have a girl to share this name. Not to mention my friends have all reminded me that I have been talking about "my daughter" since I was in High School. So my words manifested reality. Beautiful.
Being a new mother and a writer(trying to get paid) is no joke. Therefore my thoughts and actions have like a helium balloon disappeared into the clouds instead of being recorded. I have a moment. The child sleeps, my mind is quiet. I shall blog....
What has gone on. In the great words of Shug Avery..."I's married now." The child is 7 months, healthy, beautiful and full of energy. If I partook in the energy drink madness, I would drink a dozen a day to keep up.. She crawls, sits up, bites, smiles and makes her demands known in the loudest and most lovable ways possible. She is a dream and a blessing and pain in the butt all wrapped in to one. So happy to have her.
I called in a few favors to get some child talent agency info....she is a represented baby. We haven't gone out for any auditions yet, but hopefully soon. I'm not trying to go back to "regular" work. I need this "writer" thing to start paying. I can write anywhere and don't have to leave my little dreamie baby girl behind, to do it.
Oooop, she is up. She hops up from her sleep with a vengeance and because she sleeps next to me, if I'm on my computer she leaps for it. Yes, I've created a love monster. She will not sleep unless I'm next to her. I sometimes wish I could fit in her crib so I could get her in it and slide out when she falls asleep, but that's not happening. So I just relax when she relaxes and keep a watchful eye on her when she sleeps.
Hopefully one day, maybe when she's fifteen , she'll sleep alone. ] Okay, must cut this short because this little girl will not be denied.
My Posts. I know. Motherhood tends to take most of my time. I'm in love. My child, this little girl is the light of my life. She is eleven weeks, time flies. I just celebrated my first Mother's day. Life is good. I'm exhausted, breastfeeding, trying to write in between feedings and changings and nice walks in the park and I love it all. I'm still sore and physically exhausted from the birth of this child and I have to say...I'd do it all again. And maybe even again. My whole life has changed. This little baby is growing so fast. In eleven weeks she has become a little girl. She has eyebrows and a personality. Her father is trying to placate her right now, but she wants the "boob" so I have to go.
On February 24, 2010 at 5:04pm I officially joined the club of motherhood. On February 23, 2010, I had a doctors appointment. The doctor told me I was still 1 cm dilated but my cervix was nice and soft. I could give birth at anytime from that day until a week from that moment. I went home and cried. The doctor told me to come in on thursday to have all my fluids checked and get an ultrasound and discuss inducing labor if this kept on. God bless this child, she decided to come on Wednesday.
My water broke at 3:45am. It was a dramatic gush that continued. My hombre asked "Do you think I should stay home from work today". I told him, yeah I think that would be a good idea. :-) We headed to the hospital an hour later. But not before stopping at Starbucks for a breakfast sandwich. I'm not a pleasant hungry person and I knew once I got to the hospital there would be no more food until the child had entered the world. It was quite tasty.
I remained calm and dedicated to bringing the child into the world, naturally and with as little screaming as possible. I did not scream. I cried. SIlent tears ran down my face as I sat through intense labor pains for four hours. At 8am the real contractions kicked in, shortly after they put me on pitocin to speed up labor. YIKES!!! It intensifies pain that's for sure. By noon I had given up on the whole...natural, without drugs, madness and asked for an epidural. I was having beyond horrible contraction pain and they were coming every 3 to 4 minutes. I had to bear down and sit still for the epidural. Done. And by the way, the epidural is no walk in the park either. If the nurses or doctor could have given me a specific time as to when I'd be ready to deliver I might have been able to hold out up to 2 more hours with the pain, but the window was to wide. Anytime from noon to after midnight is what they told me. I would have lost my mind and had to deliver in the crazy house if I hadn't taken the epidural.
Birth- pushing and such. An amazing and primitive process. A miracle. It was surreal. I'm very happy my friend filmed the delivery, because it was like a dream. My child, my beautiful precious blessing is here. She's bright eyed and alert, healthy and beautiful. Ten fingers, ten toes and everything else in its place. A blessing beyond my comprehension.
I'm sore, aching but recovering. I'm sleep deprived and a little delirious as my baby girl loves to party around midnight to 4am. I'm breastfeeding and my nipples are on fire and I find myself watching her sleep all day and night, depriving myself of even more sleep and I have to say, it's all worth it. A hundred billion times over...worth it.
Let's start off with this morning's breakfast....Corned beef hash with two eggs over easy, two slices of sourdough toast, two chocolate frosted buttermilk donuts, lots of watermelon and pineapple a half a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice and a decaf green tea.
I had a doctor's appointment today. Getting bigger and bigger and no sign of labor. Minor contractions (having one right now actually), but nothing to call home about. I asked about being induced, he told me anytime I want, I said thursday and he said..."I'll see you on Friday to check the fluids if you haven't given birth by then". God bless the man for trying to maintain a natural state here, because I'm all for it, but I'm also for meeting this child and becoming human again. I've morphed into a monster. Just this last week, gratefully. I'm very happy I haven't been like this for say....months or weeks. I'm also grateful I didn't feel this way for the baby shower. I was a very gracious and happy showeree. Had we by chance had it this week or last week, I would probably be sending out apology notes along with my thank you notes. I'm really more defeated and emotional than actually mean. Before I can really fuss about anything the waterfalls begin....pitiful really.
I know the due date is a guestimate and the child was probably still incubating, but by my calculations, she is ready. Officially this week, even if the doctor's were off, it would be time this week. I would prefer to avoid a forced labor, but uhhh, errrr,, uhhhh, I'm willing to make an exception. I've walked and walked, worked and worked, moved and moved and still nothing. I know at the end of the day it's up to a higher power and I'm fine, I just need to feel like I'm putting my ducks in a row.
So I wound up with an appointment for thursday, to see if the fluids are all good because if not, my doctor and I will talk about inducing. They will have to induce by March 2nd not matter what, but again, uuuhhh, errrrm uuuhhhh. I as born on a Friday, I don't object to Friday. Hopefully this little one will show me and get me up in the middle of THIS night to take my trip to the hospital for delivery. I'm all for it. Show me up little girl.