23 weeks/5 days

Well, well, well. Yes I semi neglected my blog. But I should be excused because I'm pregnant. A lot has been happening. I officially relocated, had a pre-term labor scare and now know the gender of my child. And have been a writing fool on deadline as well. Whew!

So....three weeks ago, after trying to will away 4 days of intense pain, I was instructed by my doctor's office to go to the hospital. I say doctor's office because I don't have a specific doctor at this practice. They insist on making you see at least six or seven different doctors so the chance of one of these folks being available on the day of your delivery increases. Well they can have that plan, because when something goes wrong and you need to talk to someone, there is no accountability because you are "everyone's" patient. I was already raised as everyone's child, but no one's child, now I'm supposed to be experience the same in childbirth. No thanks. After calling several times, trying to get "my" doctor or the last doctor I had seen to talk to me, I was in too much pain and too frustrated to call again. So I just limped around in pain for a few days, before my boyfriend demanded my doctor's information. Well, he called asked for the office manager, told them all off, and I got stellar attention after.

So...my man left work early and off to emergency due to my severe cramps and tenderness to the touch. It was hella scarey. Turns out, I had done too much moving and lifting and yadda yadda, upset my fibroids and strained something, but thank GOD no pre-term labor as the chances of survival of such an early birth were about 10 percent. Yikes! So they gave me a prescription to some anti-inflammatory pain killers. I stepped out of the hospital and promptly tossed that little piece of paper away. I'm sick of these pill pushers. After two days of rest..no more pain. And I took none of that crap they tried to give me. They tried to tell me it would help calm the fibroids..well, rest did that and I have to tell all you people who take all these pills for strains....relax, think relaxing thoughts and wait it out. Get off those pills. I wasn't doing that to me or my child.

I will say this, emergency for pregnant women is on a whole different floor and it's very well run. I was in a hospital room and connected to a contract machine in less than five minutes. We tried to find out if we were having a boy or a girl and the child literally shows us buttcheeks and a foot. It looked as if they were sitting on a copy machine..mooning us. Scandal. So we didn't find out on that visit.

BUT.....one week later I went for a "structural" and ....drums please....it's a GIRL!!!!. I'll admit, we were hoping for a boy as I have no idea how to do hair and what am I to do with a girl. But a healthy, happy baby is the ideal scenario and so far so good.
Plus, I've embraced having a girl. Excited even. I hear they are easier to potty train and hey, a mini-me won't be so bad. I just hope she's not obsessed with the color pink because Momma don't go for pink. :-) But she will for her daughter..sigh. :-) I also feel it's a blessing to be able to give her my Great-Grandma's middle name as her middle name...Pearl. My Great-Grandmother was the best influence and blessing a child could ask for and I miss her deeply, so I'm thrilled to be able to share her name with my child. My Great-Grandma, straight from Virginia is Minnie Pearl..whew! Can you believe it. And I love my Grandma so dearly, that it really is a struggle to not actually name my child, full on..Minnie Pearl. :-) But I won't do that to the baby. I know it is a southern name and my Grandma was born in 1913. :-)

I'm showing, she's kicking and it's amazing. Even though she sometimes rests on my bladder and it feels quite miserable, I welcome all movement and kicks. Keep on kicking baby, Mommy likes to know you're there. I also get a strange thrill out of watching my belly move like I'm on the space shuttle in the movie "Alien". Unreal.

So that's the update.

19 weeks and counting..

I was trying to wait until I found out if he is a he or she is a she to post again, but.....

I had a doctors appointment yesterday. The precious one's heartbeat is 150 and his (or her) precious Mother is gaining weight. I've officially gained eleven pounds in less than three months. I can't blame it on the child because he (or she) is about the size of a mango right now. It's okay. For the love of the child.

My stomach is tight. I can feel the stretching. It's like I'm trying to digest a basketball. Hope that's normal.

No longer experiencing morning sickness THANK GOD!! but the newest invasion of the body snatchers issue is bellyaches. Terrible and long lasting. It's gas that does not move or go anywhere. It seems to just like staying right in my stomach, totally unconcerned with escaping. Yesterday it was so bad my stomach was actually sore to the touch.

I haven't felt the child kick yet, or maybe I have as they say it feels a lot like gas in the early stages, like a fluttering. And I've certainly had fluttering. I'm looking forward to feeling the baby kick. So strange to actually look forward to being kicked. :-)
I'm working, writing, packing and feeling very lucky and blessed that I am feeling well enough to do all of these things. Because the first few months I was useless.

The doctor told me even when I get the ultrasound and they guess the sex of the child, she would suggest going with a neutral color on the walls in the nursery because the ultrasound might be wrong. Sigh. Sorry but I'm probably going to go with the guess. Purple for girl, brown/tan for boy. Or I may cop out and do the "neutral" thing. Hopefully not. She suggested green. No way! No green walls.

16 weeks

Can't believe I'm four months pregnant. I'm starting to believe what everyone keeps telling me "The time will fly by". Very happy to NOT be in Los Angeles where the air quality is extra horrendous from the fires. I'm still in Germany and it's lovely but I know the cold will be moving in soon and I'm sure it will hit fast and hard. Can't speak a lick of German yet but can count to ten in French and ask you how you are doing and tell you how I'm doing and tell you it's a very sunny day, and that's about it. Must learn these languages, wish I had started a lot younger. My child will speak these languages, so.....Mama needs to understand if her son (or daughter) is cursing her out or not. :-)

I'm happy I will be going for another check-up a few days after I get back because I have been sinning it up out here. But here's my thing, French and German women give birth to healthy babies every day and they eat all this meat, bread and cheese regularly. :-) That's how I'm justifying NOT having oatmeal for breakfast and truly eating meat, cheese, bread and jam EVERY morn, for breakfast. Though I could go for a nice bowl of oatmeal. Don't get me wrong, it's delicious, but my system is taking extra long to digest all this food and my beau had to go find some prune juice for Mama in Germany. It was not easy. But alas I have some..."Pflaumesaft". It helps, probably saving my life along with some "Lactulose" I have been given, but it will really be about getting back to eating less meat, bread and cheese and eating oatmeal and veggies.

Everyone is drinking delicious coffee and I'm drinking some stuff called"Caro."


It's good, but it ain't coffee. I take a few sips of my beau's coffee and mmmmm, but alas it's back to Caro.
Unfortunately I'm still gagging these horse pill pre-natal vitamins up. I've forced about three down since I've been here. I'm gonna have to look into a liquid version because...seriously. I'm failing.

I learned how to make a delicious cucumber salad and can't wait to try it myself when I get home. Though I'm in no rush to get back to reality. I'm living a fantasy life, besides the growing child and hormones slowing down my system and causing me dizzy spells. Sigh! But I continue to have a great time and fall asleep every moment I get. It's 3:30am here as they are nine hours ahead and after eleven days I'm still not used to the time difference. I'm a bit delirious most of the time.

Thank GOD the morning sickness has subsided. I'm still a bit sensitive, but not pitiful as before. By the way, I don't know who opted to call it morning sickness, it should be called...."All day or if you're lucky" morning sickness. I truly would not have been able to do a thing on this trip had my first trimester fell on these dates. I still can't stand the sight or smell of onions, garlic or chicken. Though the cucumber salad has a few pressed cloves in it, this is the extent of my garlic tolerance. It's insane to me as I used to eat raw onions on my burgers and raw garlic in my salad. The horror, of the thought now.

Okay, I'm going to stare at the wall like a zombie until I lose consciousness. I can't watch tv until I fall asleep (even though I don't really do that anyway) because it's all in German and will frustrate me and keep me awake. It would be nice if I felt like working on a screenplay...but I don't. So off to stare I go.

15 weeks

and 1 day


Hallo (pronounced - Ha-Low in Germany)

I don't have internet access where I am staying in Germany so I'm gonna make this quick.

On Friday August 21, I took the worst flight of my life to Germany. We had middle seats. Both me and my hombre. He suffered as he has long legs and I suffered as I am pregnant and have aching bones and bladder issues. The doctor told me to make sure I walked up and down the aisles frequently, to avoid blood clots. I didn't. I walked a little, but truly, I had two people on both sides of me. It was pretty tough getting up and down on a ten hour flight. I couldn't sleep. I was too cramped to write. And at least my hombre could drink away his pain. I just had to sit with it and enjoy a glass of water. I watched the new "Star Trek" movie, over and over on a horribly shaky screen. I think I have developed a bit of a nervous condition because of it. The plane ride was Hell, with a capital H. And the food was Hell, with a capital H. And I had the nerve to ask the woman sitting next to me if I could have her sandwich. Junior needed protein and those portions weren't cutting it. So I ate two gross turkey, cheese and butter sandwiches, to ward off the nausea. Good thing I brought a bunch of snacks with me, but still at the end of the day, I require big, hot meals.

And after a ten hour flight to Frankfurt, we then had to take two trains to get to Baden Baden, adding another hour and a half to the trip. I slept on the train, missing all the scenery.


But I am here, Baden Baden, and the royal treatment and amazing food is making up for the plane ride. Unfortunately I can't adjust to the time difference just yet, so my brain and body are fried. I'm getting bigger by the minute. I'm definitely showing.
I'm hanging in here and everyone I have met is very kind and very generous and understanding of my semi-miserable condition and feeding me beyond well. Homemade marmalade, homemade cakes, cucumber salad, jaeger steak (pork cutlet with mushroom gravy), schnitzel and lots of fresh meat, cheese and bread. It's doing a number on my system, but it's delicious. So I continue to stuff myself. My boyfriend's, best friend's mother is going to show me how to make the cucumber salad, because it is AMAZING. I can eat it all day long, for breakfast lunch and dinner.

The air is wonderful, the weather is holding up. I have no complaints, except my own tired and"backed up" condition. Hopefully it will get better. I'm certain it will if I stop stuffing more food in me. :-)

Anyways, I'm on borrowed internet time here so I must jump. I like being without internet sometimes. It's the only way I can accomplish other things on my computer as in, finishing my screenplay and organizing my photos. The internet should be called," internetine" because it is addictive much like...caffeine and nicotine and the likes.


Tschüss (Goodbye)

14 weeks

and 1 day....

Reality is setting in. The reality that I may wind up as big as a house.

Mostly in the thigh and derriere region (my trouble spots) I had another check-up today. The doctor listened to the baby's heartbeat and told me of all the health issues they checked for but I didn't have. Great news. They weighed me and I gained six pounds. Six pounds!!! And the doctor had the nerve to tell me I was thin and they would fatten me up in no time. The horror. Now don't get me wrong I understand I must gain some weight, for the love of the child, but I've seen women who only have a belly as opposed to the ones who transform into..well you know. I was hoping for the cute basketball belly.

I'm going on "vacation" on friday and I'm officially showing, officially frumpy and officially out of most of my jeans. I say "vacation" because I have no business going anywhere, but my hombre planned this and is very excited so I'm gonna try to get my hormones in tact and somehow piece together some kind of wardrobe and head on out.

I don't have maternity clothes, I don't have transition clothes, I don't even know what that means. Sigh! I'll be in Europe and unable to drink..sigh! I'll be on a plane for many hours and forced to deal with "airplane bathrooms" sigh! But I'm going somewhere I've never been and it's been a long time since I've traveled out of the country so I'm trying desperately to shake this rut. Sigh! I'm taking my computer, hoping I'll be inspired to write something profound and interesting to check writing studios and producers. :-)

Latest craving

I am pleased to announce I am finally craving a vegetable. Collard Greens. Slow cooked with turkey bacon or sometimes bacon, bacon. So, so good to me. Thank God!! I desperately needed some veggies but really can't stand the sight of them. But thankfully, I've been consuming bowls and bowls of these dark leafy, folic acid and calcium filled veggies.

Feeling a bit more human. Was even able to work a few days. Truly grateful for the people with compassion who are throwing this broke mother to be, a bone. They aren't working me to death and are happy for me. Hory Glory!

My struggle will soon be eased a bit, by my joining households with the father of this child. This decision is a blog for another day. Because I somehow feel more at ease with becoming a mother than a wife. And the thought of sharing a home with another grown individual set in his ways is a bit horrifying to me. Not a dig on the wonderful man in my life because if he were any less than wonderful I would not even consider moving in with him. I'm not that kind of human. :-) Wish me luck.

A writer writes.....pregnant and all.

I've seen the school my child must go to. It's in Malibu. I've viewed the house the child should grow up in....it's eight million dollars. :-)

So, this writer must write, with nausea, body aches and the likes. And I shall.


I was working on two feature films before the baby ball dropped. Two completely opposite genres, one horror, one comedy. To be submitted to the same production company, so we shall see. My goal is to finish the horror script first. I've never written horror and have to say, horror is my least favorite genre because ALL horrors, good or bad, scar me for life. But I figure since I scare so easily, I should be able to write a half decent feature and may even surprise myself and write a whole decent feature. Horror films are usually cheaper to make and the return can be well....ie....The Blair Witch Project. I think it was about $500,000 to make (after a major film company got a hold of it) and it grossed $248,000,000 worldwide. Not to shabby for an improvised independent horror flick.

In my dreams my horror flick will cost more to make. And hopefully the production company will step out on faith and spend the necessary dough. I have sold one film (deferred payment...of course) and it is currently in post-production(editing and the likes). They (the producers and director) made some heart-wrenching changes and me, being not the most diplomatic human I know, had to boycott set. So I have yet to see any footage. I just had to let go and just feel grateful that unlike eighty percent of so-called "writers" in Hollywood, I have a screenplay that has been filmed. So I shall write more and more and hope to find a company with some dough as opposed the poor struggling production company that "bought" mine. But hey, it's made.... Blood, Sweat and Tears. Sometimes, most time, the most creativity comes from a struggle. Fingers crossed.


Let me also add...One show on the air, WHEN I get one show on the air (sooner than later I hope), an eight million dollar home in Malibu won't be so far out of reach. RIght now a box under a bridge is out of my range. But again...some of the best work comes from a struggle. I have embraced my struggle and am going to use it for gain.


Okay, off this thing and going to write something that may secure my child's financial stability. Well, on the level that his (or her) Mama would like to see.